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  • Writer's pictureDeDe Anderson Coaching

Widow Fog

Are you constantly walking into rooms and forgetting why you went in there? Or are you always misplacing your keys, or purse? Are you constantly writing lists and then forgetting them? If so you are probably experiencing Widow Fog.

Widows experience a phenomenon called Widow Fog; it is a very common condition that occurs after a significant loss. Widow Fog can vary in duration and intensity. This is our brains way of shutting down for a while, to protect us from the shock and complete overload of the loss. This “fog” is often described as being in a disconnected, autopilot state of mindless motion.

So no, you aren’t crazy, or losing your mind. This is a commonplace, physical and temporary thing. You may want to tell your friends and family you are experiencing forgetfulness. Let them know it’s a normal phenomenon and ask them to be patient with you. Also, if you are employed, you may want to tell your boss or supervisor, if you believe they will be supportive.

To try to combat this you’ll want to write notes to yourself. Write things out in a to-do list when you think about it —instead of relying on your memory. Then be ready to forgive yourself when you cannot find the list, or your keys, or your purse, or your head, if it weren’t attached to your body. I lost so many things during this time, and they always seemed to show up in completely random places that made no sense what so ever.

A lot of advice people offer is to not make any big decisions during your Widow Fog, however there are lot of times you have no choice but to make decisions, due to financial reasons or others. I will be doing another blog on How To Know What Is The Right Decision later. But for now, if you can hold off on making any large decisions, I would recommend that as well.

Rest assured though, Widow Fog does go away. I think after about a year and a half I was finally operating on all cylinders again. So have some compassion and empathy for yourself during this time and don’t beat yourself up for being so forgetful.

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