The Concept of 50/50
Updated: Jan 28
Society has taught us that we should be happy all the time. That 100% happiness is our goal in life. I'd like for you to challenge that belief, question it a little. How would we know what happiness felt like had we never experienced sadness? One can't exist without the other.
I want to offer you the thought that our lives should be 50/50.
50% positive feelings and 50% negative feelings.
If we just embraced the fact that 50% of the time we are going to feel like shit, we would feel a lot better. Because then we wouldn't be judging ourselves so much for feeling "negative". But now we start feeling negative feelings and immediately we want to change that. So we find other ways to distract us from feeling this way, therefore, many of us turn to food, tv, alcohol or spending too much (buffering).
When we start buffering with these things, it tends to create more negative emotion in our life. Now we've gained weight, spent too much money, or have hangovers from drinking too much.
We are resisting the fact that we're terribly sad about our husbands death. But hey, we're not supposed to feel happy about this. Yes it hurts, but it is so much more manageable if we just accept it and feel it, rather than resist it.
Don't you want to be sad that you lost your husband? I know I do. But what I don't want to feel is self loathing because I'm over eating, over drinking or over spending. And I can control those things, if I am willing to feel "negative". When we learn how to allow negative emotions and accept them as part of our experience, we suffer less.
Click the below link to sign up for a free mini session, and I can teach you how to feel your feelings rather than resist them.