Choosing Love Without Losing Yourself

For a long time, I thought love meant melting.

Melting my boundaries. Melting my voice. Melting myself into whatever shape made other people stay.

I called it loyalty. I called it being "easy to love."

But it was self-erasure, dressed up in good intentions.

Love isn’t supposed to cost you yourself. If staying connected requires you to shrink, silence, or erase yourself— That’s not love. That’s survival.

Choosing love without losing yourself looks like:

• Speaking your needs even when your voice shakes.

• Keeping your friends, your passions, your life.

• Disagreeing without panicking.

It’s staying whole while staying close.

You are allowed to belong to yourself first. You are allowed to have needs without apologizing. You are allowed to take up space in love.

And if love can't meet you there?

You are allowed to walk away.

Real love doesn’t want half of you. Real love wants the messy, loud, complicated whole thing.

Choosing love without losing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s sacred.