Letting Go of Over Giving

For most of my life, I thought love was earned through exhaustion. Be the reliable one. Be the strong one. Be the “of course I can handle it” one.

Give until your chest feels hollow. Smile while you're bleeding out.

That’s not generosity. That’s self-abandonment wearing a nice dress.

Over giving isn’t kindness. It’s control. “If I’m useful enough, maybe I’ll finally be safe. Maybe I’ll finally be loved.”

It’s survival tactics disguised as selflessness.

Letting go of over giving isn’t cold. It’s courageous. It’s learning to hold your boundaries without apology. It’s realizing your energy is a gift, not a debt to be repaid.

Healthy giving feels like breathing, not drowning. If giving leaves you resentful, invisible, or exhausted, that’s not love. That’s survival leaking out of your pores.

You can still be kind without being a doormat. You can still be loving without being a lifeline. You can still care deeply without handing over your soul.

Over giving wasn’t your superpower. Your real superpower is knowing when to stop.